Huge Eye Opener

I thought I'd dwell a little on my previous blog about being a crazy planner. I had a huge line up of stuff to do this past weekend. I can barely recall everything off the top of my head. Sunday was an insanely busy day for me with a 5K WW walk, a Jamboree and a run that I could hopefully fit in. The one thing I knew.... I had to plan exactly what I was going to eat all day Sunday and stick to it.

I started Sunday off with a piece of toast, peanut butter and some jam. All measured out exactly by the way! I really didn't want to eat too much before the 5K walk. This weekend WW and the Running Room partnered up for a 5K walk. It was awesome. My weekly meeting leader organized all the people that she leads throughout the city to wear yellow shirts and meet at one location and walk together. The location we were at didn't expect such a huge crowd, and although they said they were not prepared, they did a great job getting us going. There had to be at least 100 of us (this does not include the other people who were not from our leaders' meetings). There are many many many shades of yellow in the colour spectrum! I volunteered to be a group walking leader so that we could keep the people moving and not bunching up. I met some interesting people and loved the early morning walk. It doesn't matter what anyone did in terms of time,what mattered was the experince and that we all did it!

Post walk I snacked on some cherries and oranges and some baby bel cheese rounds. As I started to head to the jamboree at the rugby park, I started to think back to what I would do when I stepped out of the car upon my arrival. In the past, a trip to the rugby park for me meant smoking cigarettes, drinking beer and having a hot dog or burger, some chips and some maybe a few other not so healthy choices for me. I kept telling myself not to worry, I had my handy dandy cooler stacked with cucumbers, black bean dip, quinoa and black bean, with artichoke, zucchini. Back up oranges, apples and perrier were not far away. To boot, I haven't had a smoke since 6:00 PM, December 31, 2010 so getting through 5 hours smoke free would be a walk in the park. I must say I had the jitters. It was like the day my water broke and I had to go the hospital, I had no idea what it was going to be like. It was very nerve racking for me.

When the action got underway, I had no time to think about food. When we broke for our lunch, the kids headed for the hot dogs, burgers, chips, pop (soda), and bars while I opted to grab my cooler. I didn't even want to have a burger or a hot dog, not even a craving for it! I sat with a few parents who also brought some homemade meals to eat. Imagine my internal shock when I pulled out my lunch and no one even blinked at what I was eating, whether they simply didn't care or just thought it was normal is irrelevant. My concern that someone would say something about what I ate was all for naught. The games started adn I had no time to think about me any more, the kids had to get out to play out on the pitches again.

The day was done and I was on my way home when WHOA NELLY -- IT dawned on me ..... I just hit a massive milestone. I can no longer use being concerned or afraid of what others will say when it comes to planning my meals for outing adventures. I have dropped an old bad habit and found myself a new one, packing a healthy meal when I need to. I now know that I can go places where I didn't make healthy choices before and make or bring the right choices and not feel embarrassed in doing so.

These past months where I have been avoiding people, is my own doing. I am so thrilled to have come to the realization that I am the only one who has to be concerned about the choices I make and eat.

I will take the "I told you so" from everyone who has so diligently pointed this bit of wisdom out to me over the past couple of years.

I hope that my friends will forgive my selfishness and we can go from just keeping in touch to hanging out again!

Invitation to the party

I used to be a spontaneous spur of the moment gal.  Whenever my friends called to go on a road trip or a hockey game, or a sports filled weekend, I'd go. I never thought about what to do the next hour, let alone think about plans for the upcoming long weekend.  Whatever came my way was what I was going to do.  If I stayed out late with friends and had to go to work in a few hours, whatever, I'd sleep later.  Invite or not, we'd somehow find a party to go to.  I never really thought much about what I was doing.  I'd let the chips land where they may.  Seems they would to land in a bowl and fly into my mouth from there.  I never cared who came to the party in my mouth, whatever I wanted to eat, I ate.

When I started WW 2+ years ago, I'd go to meetings and listen to people talk about how they plan their lives.  And I am not talking just about meals, but everything right down to bed time.  I thought they were a little over the top.  I mean seriously, how can you say you are going to go to bed at precisely 9:30 PM or that you will be walking your dog from 6:00 to 6:45.  They were talking about writing lists, and tracking and monitoring everything, not just food intake.  Whoa, that's crazy, who does that kind of stuff.

I joined WW with the realization that I love food and I will always love food.  I really don't care what kind of food it is, with the exception of onions or peppers, I will pretty much eat it.  I will try most things once as long as there is not a grossness factor to it.  Heck I have even started to enjoy curry and tofu, however I have not ventured into chocolate covered insects and I doubt I ever will.  I have been struggling on how to have control without being obsessive - because I can be a little OCish. I certainly didn't want to be one of those planners I listen to at the meetings.

It all started so innocently.  I started out tracking, because tracking what you eat helps you to see where the weight loss happens.  Then I started planning my meals weekly, because that will help me not just grab and go on the fly for meals.  Then I started planning my activity and how much of it I would do daily.  I have been resisting the need to monitor my hunger signs, but now feel that if I don't, I won't know why the scale hasn't moved so much over the last 6 months.  So I have now started that.  And guess what.......

To plan my activity/exercise time, I have to schedule my bed time.  I need to get to bed at a certain time if I want to leave the house early enough to get to the pool for a reasonable time to get in my 30 minute workout and still have 20 minutes to walk to work to be on time.  Otherwise, if I get to the pool later, I have to switch up the time spent swimming because I was late and now can't do the 30 minutes and then that throws off how many points I earned (or calories I burned) and I have to correct my tracking.

Wait it gets better...... I have to eat at certain times because I have my planned run or spin class in for the afternoon and I don't want to be empty or too full.  Then I have to have my snack at a certain time, to hold me over until I get home.  You see if I eat it too early then I will probably want another snack at the appointed time and I won't have an extra one handy so I'll get the chocolate bar from the vending machine and then that throws off the tracking again.  Don't get me wrong, I actually do eat chocolate bars, I just have to plan them into the weekly meal scheduling to eat them.  The biggest realization is that these people who shared this information about routine, planning and structuring things aren't crazy.  They are the ones who are successful at losing the weight and keeping it off.

So now I treat my lists and tracking skills like bouncers in a Hollywood club.  It is by invitation only.  If the food is not on the planned menu, it is not allowed to come to the party.  This allows me to have control on what I eat and continue on my journey of being happy and healthy.