Great Moments in Life - all in five days

Wow what a whirlwind 5 days it has been!

Friday I went to a rugby alumni event.  Two of my former teammates were receiving their CAP for playing for Canada.  It was an awesome experience.  I was able to see some people who continue to be positive influences in life. It was like picking up where life left off years ago. I consumed no alcohol and only had one canapé.  I was surprised when people I had met very casually and hadn’t seen in years remembered me.  Some I didn’t think would ever remember me, and yet they did.

Saturday was a huge day for me.  I was up at the crack of dawn and instead of hanging out and waiting for time to pass, I jumped on the bike and took what I would call a safe ride (bike lanes only most of the way) and pass 30 minutes away, get home change and head out for my first OTC open water swim.  The city has “closed” the beaches and they aren’t testing the water, the water must be clean now! The kids aren’t peeing in the pool any more.  Geordie welcomes me and off we go.  A 60 metre warm up in the water and I feel good. We do a lap and coach tells me to not take air in as often as I normally do, keep my head in longer and deeper.  Then we have to breathe facing the shore, I suck up way too much water.  By now all I am thinking of is how much vodka or gin I am going to have to guzzle to clean my insides out! Wow that was a quick hour.

Off to TERP I go to volunteer and catch some international 7’s rugby.  Teams from the Caribbean and North America are representing here.  It was again like old home week.  Seeing so many of the lasses from years ago, some with their young’uns, some with their bellies ready to pop out a wee one.  Then I got to see Biff and we chatted about rugby, life and the comradary of belonging on a team.  Five more of the Ottawa Irish ladies were receiving their CAPs today.  It was a proud moment to remember playing with those gals and wearing the green and gold.  The memories of when I first started and how these women were so patient with me and the other new players.  Talking to the ladies and catching up was great.

When I was leaving the park for the day the Alumni organizer for the Canadian women was looking for her ride and her counterpart.  It looked like they missed their ride and I offered to drive them back to their accommodations.  In the car they get and off we go.  They speak of their day and the duties they were tasked with and I drive in silence because all that is going through my head is “Oh My God, I have an Olympic Gold Medalist sitting beside me in my car”. I jibber jabber a bit, drop them off and then call my hubby when I am out of earshot and tell him how excited I was that I was graced with the presence of an Olympic Gold Medalist.  This isn’t a rarity if you know this gal; she knows a ton of people and doesn’t forget anyone.  She represented Canada in rugby and in the bob sleigh.  How awesome is she.  She is not egotistical, she is humble, shy and overall just a really great person.  All of the women who were out there this weekend from the Canadian Alumni were fantastic.  I was most definitely star struck.  I was years ago when I first volunteered for RC and the women and I don’t think I will never not be!

Sunday was just as wonderful.  I was up early again.  I had a date with an online friend.  We were going to meet for the first time ever and go for a run.  Could have been a psycho for all I knew, but I was willing to take my chances. Turns out she wasn’t, she’s just a normal person like me.  Well I am sort of normal.  It was a great run; the heat wasn’t too insane just yet. 

Back out to the park for some more rugby.  Get to see some of the old coaches, Dick and Lads in particular, seems the sun grasshopper got Biff on Saturday and there was no way he was going to make it out I was told.  I spent some quality time with my daughter and niece while they work and I get to see some great rugby games.  Both the Women and the Men win their final matches to qualify for 7’s World Cup. It was a superb day.  I even scored two 24’s. Then the girls agreed to take them over to team Canada, the ladies had left so they dropped one of with the men who graciously accepted the beer and there was another team left in their tent, so off they go and the team agrees to take a case, but only if the girls will sit and have a shot. And what goes on tour stays on tour, so I will not write any more on that one, but the girls had a great time!

Monday was quasai quiet – I walked with mom.  I definitely miss walking all the time with my mom, we have some good giggles! I didn’t feel like I got enough of a workout in so I decided that I would bike home on Tuesday, since Wednesday was a swim day.

Tuesday, my wonderful hubby loads up the bike and drops me off at work.  All day I am trying to figure out my route home, whether or not I am going to carry my back pack, did I really want to do 17K in rush hour?  I had a pretty productive work day and when it came time to head out, out I went.  There were a few moments when I got a little freaked out, but not so much.  Overall a great ride.  So much so, that I added 4 or 5 extra K on to the ride.

I felt revived, rejuvenated and ready for a run when I got home.  I did not run, I got side tracked by the grand kitty and dog and then all the household duties I had been neglecting.

Wednesday brings me to my second swim so that I can get some more disgusting water in my system in preparation for Saturday’s Super Sprint Tri.  Should be interesting!

BTW – Bacon Brent is a great swimmer and a huge shout out to him for helping me find the courage and strength from within to get out on the open road again. I feel more confident with every ride.

To my husband, who granted me a weekend doing rugby stuff and other stuff while he hung out at home alone doing house stuff, I love you! You are the best!

Tradesies

Remember when you were a kid and you made deals with your friends to trade your STUFF with each other.  I would trade my pack of gum for a Barbie doll dress, or my eye of the tiger marble for a bouncy ball.  Sometimes the trade would go in my favour and most times not so much.  I would come home all proud of what I traded for, and my parents weren’t as happy and would make me go back and trade back for my originally traded item.  My friend’s parents were on the same wave length as mine.  Eventually I stopped trading because I always got my stuff back.

Well this journey is becoming a bit of an internal trade off for me. I can trade off the junk that I love to eat for exercise.  Instead of eating all the time for mindless, emotional reasons, I trade off to train for triathlons.  Really, I am trading one addiction for another.  But the trade-off is a healthier option. 

My friend Nicole once said me that once you start doing triathlons, will not want to do anything else.  She is 100% correct.  The results and the exercise high you get from finishing far outweigh any of the setbacks I may have during the race. It has been three days since I finished my first ever Super Sprint Tri and I did say I wouldn’t do the one in Ottawa because it was in Mooney’s Bay, and well it has been closed for E.coli.  It was one thing holding me back, that and the memory of last year’s fight with the weeds in the water.

So this morning on the ride in with Marc, we talked about me doing the Super Sprint on the long weekend, the grossness of the water and he said – “well you did it last year and survived”.  I don’t think he realized he sealed the deal for me right there.  This means I need to train for the next two weeks.  I can’t miss my open water swim this Saturday morning. I have to get out and run and of course the dreaded bike ride. The good thing is that this bike ride is 15K and is a closed road.  I can live with that.  There is a new running route this year, so I may get out and try the route beforehand.

Sorry I get sidetracked.  So what I have done is traded my eating mindlessly for getting out there and training for better race results.  This will keep me motivated for my 9 run run 1/2 in October, and I will pick something to run in December and then Winterman in February and then something else for the Spring.

Overall I think the tradesies of my food addiction for endless training will pay off for me.  I have realized that reaching my goal is much easier going balls out than it would be to do the minimum and hope for the best.

This is one trade-off I know I can stick with.  I am pretty sure I don’t have any family members or friends who would want to tell me to go back and trade my unhealthy eating habits back.

Super Sprint or Super Bust

Woke up early this morning.  Never seem to sleep so well the night before a race.  I felt okay but know that I was going to sleep on the drive.  It was a sunny morning, with a little chill in the air. Somewhere along the 416 I ended up in the land of nod until we were about 5 minutes outside of Brockville.

My darling husband helped get the bike out of the vehicle, and down to the transition area we head.  I am feeling great.  Not rushed, not nervous.  Managed to see all the triathlon peeps, Jill, Richard and Kevin.  I get my kit and chip and I am good to go. Instead of hanging out in line for the porta potty we head over to the marina area and head to the water to watch the Olympic Race come out of the water. 

The entrance and exit is on a boat ramp, covered in slimy stuff.  In on my butt I go, and swim over to the buoy.  It looks far and maybe I start to feel a little pre race jitters in the water.  Next thing I know it is time to start.  I get a good pace, so much so I almost swam over my buddy Jill, when I saw a guy with his arms flailing and he was panicking.  I stopped to make sure he was okay and he wasn’t. I got him on his back and calmed down and a lifeguard came to get him to safety. About three strokes later, another guy starts to flail and so again I stop and he is doing the same thing.  Throwing both arms over his head while on his back, making him sink.  He kept saying he couldn’t do it.  I assumed it meant swim, you would think so no??? Got him calmed down, swam over to him and in his panic attack, he charlie horses my right quad.  When I told him he had to go to the boat to get out and that he wouldn’t finish the race, he tells me he is going to finish, just wants some help to the end of the swim.  Really!!! Seriously!! I left him on his own!

I finished out of the water 5 minutes later than I wanted.  As I walked through the transition area, I was so frustrated that I couldn’t get my wetsuit zipper down.  And off to the side is Marc, so he unzips me and off to my bike I go.  Funny how my hubby always shows up when I need some support and love!  All unzipped I get to the bike and ready to ride the dreaded bike ride!!!!  Was so wet, couldn’t get my socks on and my quad was killing me from the second swimmer.  So I head out barefoot in my running shoes, with my bike shorts and wet swim suit. Less than 200 metres into the ride, I hit a hill and remember what Brent said.  Stay in hard gear and drop down only when you can’t peddle.  Woo hoo I made it up the hill.  Thanks Brent, I owe you a bacon something or other for that coaching advice!

Then the road was no longer closed.  Open to local traffic.  This would mean cars were coming by and some at a nice clipping speed.  If there was a shoulder I could ride on I would, just to avoid the breeze from the cars.  Some were very respectful, others were not!  But that is what cyclists have to deal with regularly. There were quite a bit of downhills!  With every downhill there is an uphill in the return. Then the 2K of graded pavement, again, there is a turnaround so it’s going to be another 2K of graded pavement. That was the worst 4K or so of a pavement ride ever, made me think about packing it in, but then I didn't know how I was going to get back so bike on I did.  So glad I had my daughter’s hybrid bike.  So much vibration and jostling, it was a little painful on the shoulders, neck and gooch and it made me forget all about my leg pain! I passed nobody on the ride and I was okay with that, I just had to get through it.

Then I made it to the transition and carried on to the run.  It was a slow slow run.  Thankfully my hubby was there to cheer me on.  I was losing power so figured I should refuel with my little jellies.  Much better than Gu!  Around the 1.5K marker I was feeling better and picked up my pace a bit, but then the left calf started to cramp up and the right quad was not working too well. So I slowed down and kept jogging.  It was a beautiful run, great scenery, lots of shade.

A tradition that Marc and I have on any race is that just before I reach the end, he shows up and I get my finishing kiss.  It was a welcomed kiss and as an added bonus, Marc ran with me for about 100 metres then I finished the last 10 metres on my own.

I was glad it was done and over with.  I had not trained for this race, it was a spur of the moment that I decided to do with some coworkers.  Jill and Kevin both won gold in their divisions and Richard and I finished.  It wasn't a super bust, because I finished it and all the triathlon buddies were smiling at the end. I finished in my predicted time, so I am okay with the results and know I can do better.  And that is what drives me to want to do the next one on the September long weekend, yet I know that I need to focus on my running for the ½ marathon in October.

Decisions, decisions.  We shall see how I feel after a massage and 10K run this week!

Swimming how I love thee

So I have decided to post as often as I can.  I am thinking it will help me sort stuff out.  Whatever that stuff is.

So out for the swim in Britannia we go yesterday, my triathlon coworker Jill and Richard and Jill's friend.  Although Richard is a lot late.  I think we may have done 400m.  Not too sure.  I really should get out there with OTC and get my distance knowledge together. I can swim for hours in a pool, in open water it is different, but impossible for me to swim for a long stretch of time. I just have to allot the time to do it! 

It was a good swim, a little tough trying to determine if I was going straight, using the right form etc.  The only issue I had was my lead/leash for my wet suit kept hitting my hand and I thought I was trapped in weeds.  I love swimming, weeds I don’t love so much. It wasn't a horrifying swim, yet not one of my greatest either.  But then again I have neglected my training for a while.

So as I sausaged myself into the wet suit, I was wondering how much motion I was going to get with the sleeves.  It felt tight.  Then I dipped into the water and magically I shrunk! I could pull the legs down to the right length.  Zipping up was a breeze.  I don’t have long hair to get in the way and surprisingly, my back fat choose to stay tucked in. 

Getting out of the suit was not nearly as complicated as I thought.  Pull the lead down and poof I was opened.  Thanks to Brent for the tips on how to get out.  The only thing I should not have done was try to get out of the wetsuit in the water.  I did it because I didn’t want pebbles in my suit.  We just bought the suit, I didn’t want to risk a little tear into it before its first race. And sadly (or thankfully) nobody was recording

So I am thinking about a swim on Saturday at the same location as a warm up or maybe just going to the local pool. Weather and courage permitting.

I love the water, I feel so refreshed and alive in the water, except for the weeds, they creep me out, but I can swim through them.  If only I could find a triathlon where you swim 1500m and bike 1K and run 10K.  Now that would be an awesome tri!

FEAR, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, CHANGE

I am so nervous and scared to ride a bike on a road without a bike lane.  So much so that I break out into shakes and sweats and sometimes even tears.  I’ve been hit by cars, I know of people hit by cars.  Cars are bigger than me, they can do damage.  Lord knows this temple of mine needs no more damage.

So after a few weeks shy of a year since I was last on a bike, my Bacon buddy Brent offered to take me on a very flat ride.  He knows my fear is so strong that he biked 3+K to my house to pick me up to start the ride. He rides the outside limit of the curb/bike/car ratio.  I hug the curb; I’d rather hit the curb and wipe out over the curb then have a car anywhere near me. First thing he did, tell me the signals and what they all mean, like the shaking your hands all about means gravel, right arm fully extended and at 90 degrees – right turn, right arm down and finger pointing – hole in the road – DANGER DANGER!!!

We started at a slow pace – well slow for Bacon Brent! The light gods were on our side we had little to no wait time for the green lights.  As we headed up Jeanne D’Arc south to Innes, I had the Vulcan death grip on my handlebars.  Some cars were gracious enough to pull over, some not so much.  We had to cut over two lanes to turn left onto Innes and hit the bike lane.  This time the traffic and light gods were in our favour.  Once I made it to the bike lane I felt a surge of confidence flow through my veins.

Bacon Brent was a great lead and I started to worry that I was slowing him down and maybe not pushing myself to hard.  After all, I should be focusing on my fitness and my goals now that I was safe in the bike lane.  Yes I know even bike lanes aren’t safe, but they are safer than no lanes.

At the 30 minute mark Brent mentioned it was the turnaround point.  I thought we were going all the way to the stop sign and said we could go that far if he wanted.  Funny how you think something is closer than it really is because when you are in the car it takes 1/3 of the time it does to bike it.  We rode side by side (ish) on this huge shoulder and I was feeling at ease. It was a nice leisure ride for Bacon Brent I am sure.  We chatted about races, family and life.  We go back over 20 years, life sure was different then.  I even mentioned that 20+ years ago, I would never have imagined him and me on bikes training together, funny how life and people change.

After the turn around and the ride back down Frank Kenny and heading back on Innes heading West, I convinced myself that Brent could make his turnoff to home if he wanted and I could do the 3+ on my own.  At first I would take a few side roads because I knew they had bike lanes most of the way home and I wouldn’t have to continue down Jeanne D’Arc with no lanes.  By the way, Frank Kenny is an awesome road for biking or running on because the shoulder is ginormous.

By the time it came for Bacon Brent to make the turn, I convinced myself that I could ride Jeanne D’Arc safely and with confidence.  We parted ways and I sailed through the next round with the traffic and light gods pushing at my back. And then BAM – Jeanne D’Arc. 

I made the right turn, told myself to not get too close to the curb, and to watch my distance and look for holes and stuff.  At this point the light gods vanished.  I was stopped, with my foot on the curb, so I was pretty tight to the curb and a car pulled up tight to me.  So tight that my handle bar had about two inches of clearance.  I was praying they weren’t turning, because I would be toast.  I start to shake a lot, and feel tears swelling up. Light changes and they burn rubber – really dude is all that went through my mind. And off I go, holding back the tears. The jerk pulled a U-turn (no I did not flip the bird at the stop light!) comes back around just to get close again.  I couldn’t get the plate because I was so angry and scared I was crying so much.  I peddled my ass off at this point, constantly shoulder checking.  A few more cars would pass me, all seemed to sense my freakedoutedness and giving me space.  As I made the last big road turn to head home tears of joy quickly replaced the anger ones. I made it.  I did a huge distance, by my standards, and I survived some asswipe’s rage against cyclists.

My plan was to run after the ride.  It took me about 3 minutes to get off the bike after I stopped peddling.  My led legs were not moving.  As I walked up the driveway with the bike and put it in the garage, I heard a voice lovingly calling out to me.  It was the hot tub.  I swear, it was singing my name and telling me that a run would have to wait.  Led Legs needed to soak.

I am a very aggressive car driver. Maybe this is why I am scared shitless on the bike. If I am not very forgiving of cyclists, there are others who are not as well.

I don’t know when hand signals changed, but apparently they have.  I think every driver’s hand book and license test should include cycling signals and rules of the road for cyclists. I didn’t know that a bike has the same rights as a car. Not all cyclists stop at lights or stop signs, but then again neither do all car drivers.  Some people just roll on through.

Before riding a bike last year, I had a tendency to not give cyclists more room than they need on the road.  I thought I was giving sufficient room now, but perhaps I am not.  After this ride I will consciously remind myself to give a lot more space, slow down if I can’t move around far enough safely for both me and the cyclist. After all, if I was in such a hurry, I should have left earlier.

If I change my mindset on riding the road, surely everyone can become a little more conscientious of sharing the road. I am still afraid of riding the road, but maybe not as much.  I am looking forward to my Friday ride.

To have someone with patience, faith and encouragement to get me on the road and relearn the road rules, and signs is wonderful.  I have no idea how to express my gratitude for his paying it forward for me, other than to continue to ride and maybe one day after I have mastered the basics, I can help someone learn.

Huge kudos to you Brent for helping me face my fears and coaching me along the way.

Today it is open swim night at Britannia. Should be interesting, because I haven’t done that in a little under a year either! I have been in the pool, but that is a whole different ball game.  Time to try out the new wet suit! Someone should be there recording me trying to get out of it! It will be comical!!!

Getting a Grip

So the past year or so I have been a little stressed.  I have tried not to be stressed, and I only realized this morning that I have actually been masking the stresses of the past year with the way I have been eating.

As you know, I am a mindless eater.  I love food, I love flavour, I live to eat. I certainly don’t eat to live.  Heck I love to host a flavour party in my mouth at every meal. The more guests invited, the merrier the party.  Pack them all in there. No matter how much I try to stay on track, write down every little bit, morsel, lick, taste and sip, when I get stressed I let go of all control.  The unfortunate part is that I don’t see it until it has caught up with me and I am 25 pounds heavier.

Indeed it has been a difficult work year.  I was Harpersized and who is kidding who I was bitter.  Then I worked for a company where I really enjoyed the senior staff, however I couldn’t work with the pettiness of the other junior staffers or their lack of professionalism, so I left there for another job where I realized after a month into the job they expected me to do sales. That was bad enough, but to throw in cold calls, may as well send me bungee jumping - more likely I'd do that then sell something.  If you know me at all, you know I cannot sell a three course meal to a starving person. So I then found myself back with an agency and am now in a position where I like the manager, the other admins, the location etc.  My contract ends in a few weeks and then what I am going to do for work after that, no clue. But something will come up.

Throughout all of this I have had a few personal things stress me out.  I know they are trivial at best compared to what most people I know have gone through, they are huge for me.

My daughter and I have always been close.  She wants to pull away now – most kids do this as teenagers, mine waits to be a 26 year old to spread her wings.  My parents are aging – aren’t we all.  For some strange reason I had the illusion that my parents would never be old.  They would never look old.  And really they don’t look old, but I have seen them age in the way they carry their bodies and how quickly they tire.  So I am a little freaked out by this. Guess that cord was never really cut either! And then there are the days when I feel like I am so lost and all alone on this weight loss and get fit journey, and feel like I will never get to where I want to be.

This weekend I had time to think about my stress and realized many things, and well it's not that bad and it is only me that can make the change.

1)    I realized that really getting laid off wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to me. In fact it was one of the best things work wise. Heck, I could still be there and be miserable doing nothing and feeling useless. Where I am, I am not useless. I am valued and respected as a person and in the work that I do here – and that is very rewarding.

2)    It’s okay to let my daughter spread her wings and fly out on her own.  No matter where she goes or what she does, I will always be there for her and when she is ready to share something with me she will.  After all, I am her mother!  I have raised her to be independent and her own person.  She needs her friends to be like minded, not her mom.  Of course we will still be friends and we will always share our strange yet special bond.  The reality of it all is that she wants to move on and so she should.

3)    My parents are getting older, so am I.  I have no choice but to cope with this and continue to enjoy and cherish every day that I have with them and not worry about the future!

4)    I have a very loving and caring husband who is my best friend, my coach and my rock.  He is a great support to me.  He stands by me, and he never asks me if I am sure I want to eat – whatever that is.  He knows that it will only send me over the deep end, so he just lets me eat it.  Then somewhere along the way he says he is going for a workout, or he feels bloated and needs to work out or go for a run or something.  Sometimes it takes a while to sink in, but I do realize that he is feeling what I am and he is voicing it and not eating the frustration away.  This encourages me to say it as well.  Not out loud in public, just when we are at home. By doing this, I am less inclined to have the gelato, chips, cookies and the 10 handfuls of peanuts. Yes, all at the same time!

While I talk the talk of telling people “NO EXCUSES”, somewhere along the way I was started being dishonest with myself and stopped walking the walk.

There is something to be said for the expression – the truth will set you free.  If I am honest and truthful about why I am eating, deal with the issue and stop the pity party I can get back on track and accomplish my goals.

I don’t need to have a party or a festival in my mouth with the food I am eating. I can limit the guests I invite to the party.  I lost track of what my goals were and what I wanted to do.  I got caught up in the trap of poor pitiful me and felt sorry for myself and my gains.

There must be something about August that does this to me.  While I recall having these thoughts last year, I don’t recall ever acting on them. I can’t live in the past, I need to move forward, and set short term goals.  That means looking to the future with a positive outlook. I am going to run, I am going to reach my goal weight, I am going to train for triathlons and reach my fitness goals.

Now that I have said this, I have to have a plan on how I am going to accomplish these.  It’s easy on paper… I will make the healthiest choices I can. I will limit the not so healthy choices if I really feel the need for one. I am going to log/track my food intake, my exercise and most importantly my feelings.  By tracking my feelings I will be able to identify my stresses and deal with them instead of letting them fester and send me over the deep end of the chocolate pool.

I will do what I have to do for me. It is what will keep me out of a year-long funk. It may be selfish to some, but it’s not to me. I will say that I don’t want to eat it and if asked repeatedly, I will enforce my No Thank You.

Step one is done – I joined the OTC for swimming in October.  Monday mornings at 6am.

So the week is planned out

Tonight, plan the meals and track them. Tuesday I go for a bike ride and a run, Wednesday a 5k run, Thursday I go for an open water swim, Friday I stretch it all out and Saturday maybe a long soak in the hot tub or a nice light massage and Sunday I head to Brockville to complete my first Super Sprint Triathlon.

Life could be worse for me. This Buttercup needs to suck it up!