Ctrl Alt Del

I have rebooted myself!  I have been trying to lose a certain number of pounds for the past two years.  During that time I have set new goals, achieved them and been moving to improve some of them.  The thing is, I lost focus on what I really want to do and that was to lose weight to be healthy and fit.   Regardless of what others think is a good weight for me, it is what I think is important and right for me that counts.

While training for a ½ marathon is great, I seem to plateau on the weight loss side of it.  I have read articles that talk about running and losing weight and they all say the same thing, - if you are expecting large losses, don’t train for races.  And it’s true.  I became so obsessed with training for my runs that I forgot all about the reasons I started running and the loss I want.  Then I realized that I was paying money to go to WW every week and the scale wasn’t moving.  I have slowed my running down and this week I hit the ctrl alt delete keys in my head and have totally rebooted myself mentally this week. 

I lost my vision and focus as I became self competitive to set a personal best for running, when what I should have been really been looking at is what my original plan was.  I can challenge myself to lose weight just as easily as I can challenge myself to pick up the pace and move my feet faster.  I know that when I reach my desired weight, I will be able to set personal bests and it is all about me and what I want.

I am refocusing on the weight loss and fitness aspect of my program and will run/walk/jog my way through this next ½ marathon at my own pace because I made that commitment to do it.

Will I know when I get there?

New thing for me.  I won't kid you, it took me a few months to decide whether or not this was something I wanted to do.  With some encouragement from friends and family, I have finally decided to jump in and go for it!

I started WW two years ago for the upmteenth time. My first six months were more or less a ya ya ya whatever attitude. I just kept tossing money down the drain. I am closer to 90 than I ever imagined.

Then I went on a golf vaca with my parents. We had carts and could only drive on the cart path. Which meant we still did a good amount of walking. I actually could not keep up the pace with my parents. 67 and 72. I felt pathetic, sweaty and upset over my lack of fitness. I suffered the self disappointment in silence. I spent the rest of the vacation trying to come up with a plan, and figure out what I needed to do.

When we got home, I started walking with my Mom. We are very close and the walks are still something we both look forward to 5 days a week. Well at least in the off golf season!! At first I couldn't keep up with my mother, eventually it got to the point where I had to slow myslef down for her. I then found myself starting to run. Something I did in gym class all those years ago because I had to. I figured I'd run 5K max. No not me, apparently I love to be challenged physically. I am now training for my second 1/2 marathon. I would like to have numbers 3 and 4 under my belt before the end of this year so that I can start training for marathons in the new year.

I have a wonderful support group. My family is fantastically encouraging and inspiring.  My friends have been wonderful and I could not ask for a more supportive team.

As I keep pondering where I want to be, I often wonder if I need to make that choice or will I just know when I get there.

I could go on and on but will save it for another post.